The pain is still very real

I’ve been divorced from Sara for 5 years now and I’ve moved on a long time ago, but the pain that I felt back then is still very real. I try not to give too much away her because I would like to write the sequel to Surviving Sara, but this is something I need to share. 

I’ve decided to give it one last hurrah in trying to get my kids away from her narcissistic ways through the courts. I have 6-3″ 3-ring binders FULL of documentation and such as supporting evidence of her behaviors and parenting. Journals and such. 

Last night I was going through and highlighting. Various entries that are important and two things I read made me break:

1). The day I had to leave. When I said goodbye to my kids and they begged me not to go. I flash backed to that moment and felt everything as I sat at my kitchen table. 

2)  my youngest son used to always ask me when I’d call at night when I was coming to pick them up and he’d get really excited when I’d say “two days” or “next Tuesday” or whenever it was; now, he hasn’t talked to me on the phone for months. Even making this entry I feel the emotions testing the limits of my emotional wall. My heart feels torn. 

I pray what I’m doing will help and fix the problems I face with Adam and Michael. I hope.  It all I have left. 

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